This came from a 32 year old man.
Literally all she said was “no.”
I’ve come to understand why, during my internet dating years, so many women responded to my inquiries (I promise I wasn’t creepy) by not responding at all. At the time it drove me crazy, the silence, even more so than the rejections. We’re both on this webspace looking to meet people, can’t you give me a simple “no thanks” so I know when to walk away?
Now I get it. If you’re a woman on the internet, every single interaction is a roll of the dice and you can never tell when that roll will come up “u ugly bitch” so it’s safer and easier to just not say anything. In the online dating world, that becomes common sense.
But never forget: there are men who don’t even wait for that reply. Just being a woman online can be enough to trigger a dice roll. Imagine if every tweet or article you wrote meant a personal insult came your way. Sure, you can block, you can mute, you can ignore, but eventually you’d start to wonder if it wouldn’t be easier to not say anything.
That’s how silencing works and it makes me furious. And to those who insist that women must “grow thicker skin” and simply “accept” the reality of online abuse, here’s a revelation for you: anyone who already suffers through a daily flood of insults or threats just to exist online has thicker skin than you. They’re the ones with the courage, not you and your false keyboard bravado.
To say nothing of the women who face real-life harassment every day, be it catcalls from strangers, an oppressive workplace, or a real-life stalker. Compared to them, we’re all cowards.
Bless you, sir.